so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
