trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
