Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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