Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
