It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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