About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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