My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
