forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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