I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I will pee on everything he values.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
