apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
do nipples grow back?
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