yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
