that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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