Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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