found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
