sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
