Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
