Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me

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(205): View more from Alabama

Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong

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(928): View more from Arizona

Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

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(720): View more from Colorado

I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

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(812): View more from Indiana

You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.

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(586): View more from Michigan

She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.

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(406): View more from Montana

Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.

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