I swear she didn't look like that last week.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
