I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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