the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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