Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
