after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize