Pappa wants mamma naked
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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