She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize