I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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