Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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