Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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