I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize