in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
