Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
