Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
