I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
