Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He's on the porch naked. Help.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
