The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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