any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
