Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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