we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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