he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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