Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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