True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
