does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I had to cum in my sink.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
