hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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