Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
