If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
