Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
