my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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