6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
