at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
