Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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