I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize