i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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