I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
