How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
4 words: hood of his car
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
