this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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