Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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