i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
