i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
