True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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