Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
