This girl is more easily done than said...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
