Quick, to the slutcave!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
