does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
