That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
