just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
