i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
