i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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