I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
