people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
