I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Say something about gay babies.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
