its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
