i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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