At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
