I'm so fucking centered right now
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
