The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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