I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
